Ethics

It turns out I already know French, the minute I heard people speaking it around me it just started flowing out of me like I was a native. I wonder what else I know…

It takes a considerable amount of lying and thievery to get anywhere if you intend to stay off the radar, damn computerized everything. There are cameras everywhere. I’ve dyed and cut my hair, I try to change my style of clothes every couple of days and had started applying ridiculous amounts of make up. I talked my way onto a private boat that was crossing the channel, I gave them some of the money I had and worked off the rest, but now I think I could navigate a small boat if my life depended on it. You can’t have too many skills I don’t think.

But it bugs me that I have to deceive absolutely everyone I meet. I mean elaborate, convoluted lies. I can never give any hint of who I really am, where I have come from if I want to disappear completely. It's what I hated most about being a part of Warlike's world but to avoid going back it's what I have to resort to. It’s such a crappy set of choices, be the real me and a sucker or fake it for the rest of my life, never letting anyone know that real me.

That’s it really, I have been constantly surrounded by people at all times and yet I am totally alone. I have had to be on my guard at all times, and even when I was “myself” with the MI6 agents, I was able to use that against them in my escape and in the end being contrary to who I really am. Do normal people have to deal with— a work persona versus a home persona? I’m sure on some level everyone has layers but the depths of what I am having to resort to is exhausting. I don’t know how long I will be able to keep this up.