Christmas is a few days a way and I find I am smothered by a great sadness that sits on my chest trying to crush all the breath out of me. Does this mean Christmas sucked at my house or that I am subconsciously missing it? I think about those two people I met. They are my parents, I can tell, I look related to them. They were upset over my underwhelmed reaction to them and more so when I didn’t want to see them any more. I cut the reunion short. I couldn’t take it. But now I think about them every moment. Wondering about what our tree would look like, the cinnamon smell of the house as you walk into the heat from a cold snowy day. Did we go to mass or anything on Christmas Eve?
I feel I am missing something worth being nostalgic over.
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